That night I made a decision

11/11 will the unforgettable day for me... I made a confess to you again... not really having a high hope. but yea the answer is still the same. I don't blame you. I am not angry or what. just a little sad.

so sorry that I really make you feel so speechless and troubled. I somehow had forgotten what I did a month ago. Sorry.

I will try to run away from you now. I want you to be happy. All left is me alone loving you silently. until the day i vanish from this world. I once told myself that I will not try to fall in love to other, i really meant it. not to say that I am that stubborn but forgetting someone and re-stepping into love is not that easy as just typing the words out.

So I decided to love you forever, even you are not meant to be mine. Live within myself forever.
Just like I said, I dare not say you are perfect, but to me I like just the way you are.

I always set your picture as my phone wallpaper you know. I love that moment every morning when I woke up I see your face and it brighten me up.

I hope this is the best. I dare not say that I will be happy, but this is for you to be happy.
If you couldn't make a smile on your face, do I really love you? Do I really deserve you?

Maybe someday I will let you know about this blog. Maybe....

Maybe it's no more after SPM like you said during my 1st confession. It will be longer, maybe until I graduate.

We all know there aren't any promises in love. There wont be. Love is cruel, selfish and forever change. I wanted to change that, but following you, makes me feel so hard to change it.

I will stop messaging you and I will stop replying you. I will stop all communications and do what I really need to do. Just to stay away from you so that you wont feel bothered.


I am sorry if I don't seems to be the person that can wait you forever. I can, I want but I can't. Maybe you wont be happy if I am not around, but I know you wont be sad again I am not around.


If I fail this time, means you will be seeing this blog already. I might been somewhere else. far from you. But even stop thinking about you.
If you are really happy with you life now, maybe don't come back to me, stay where you are. If not....

I am really sorry, allow me once again to say, I love you, Crystal. I really do.