Its is not even night and I already called it day 1. guess I couldn't sleep. but I don't want to forgot what I want to write. might as well write it when I remember what I have.
Well, its not like we were in a relationship before. but I already feel like its after breaking up, such a long time I didn't experience this feeling already. once again, it came. then I notice you already reached that level enough to crush me down to the bottom of the ocean. but I cant do anything.
Day 1, I couldn't deny that I still think all about you, all about yesterday what happen. all those message. Non to be blame, its fate, maybe. I don't really believe in fate actually, I prefer everything done by my own hands my own decision, or maybe its already controlled by fate? I don't know.
I don't know if this really helps or not, but you will be alright. you have a lot of choice. Just a little effort and you can get your dream guy. But please don't choose someone might hurt you in the future alright?
She wont come back for me, who am I? just a mere friend of hers. she don't even share her problems with me. she don't ask help from me. And I cant even do a thing for her. Well, its not about doing or not doing I suppose, its about the heart. that what matters isn't it? Stop dreaming and wake up perhaps? Your not chosen, just like her post. go to someone you deserve. Nah, I wont choose others.
Dear god, you want to punish me, I will not let you suffer me for long. But I will not die in a idiotic way, not until I accomplish something before I die. but your suffer will be short. I once learn that everybody metabolic rate is the same. either you are healthy or not, the faster you use up your life energy, the faster you will die.
Die young better then suffer life, we were born with crying because we know life will be painful. so why be born? If I got to choose I will never come to this world. I prefer being a spirit. at least they don't have feelings.
About feelings. I can't say how much fail I am. Fail to control emotions, sad. I conquered anger, but sadness, I couldn't. I don't know why.
Emotion only cause destruction in the end. Why we need it?
Almost everything I imagine myself standing on a ice burg and alone in the blue oceans. cold. but warm in the heart. looking at your picture. looking at the endless ocean. remembering every moment we went through, well not too much I know but its alright.
All the while I saw those post in Facebook about how sad can you be when someone is so close with you yet so far for you to get her. I think I can understand that feeling now.
well, as what I expected. day 1 usually will be a lot of post. cause will been crazy thinking a lot of things and you sure will have a lot of things to say.
"Damn, stop thinking about her will coming and find you automatically. Your almost equal to zero, NOTHING."
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