Will you cry just for me?

Was waiting for you SMS....
Listening to my blog music...
Such emo song...
It just provoke all my negative and emotion out....

Suddenly I just feel so down...
It's like you were so cold to me...
You really are, but I choose to ignore it...
Because they said the best part of life is not when you get something...
It is when you are waiting for it...

How true is that...?
People just forget how much they treasure something when they really want it when don't have it...
When they got it... they start to care less...
I wouldn't say that it 100% won't happen on me...
It happens to everybody... that's the sad part of this cruel reality...
But what's special about me is I will realize that the problem exist...
And make a turn for it...
To make it better... At least I did something...

What is my place in your heart..
That's the question I always want to ask you... or always asked myself...
It's like I am still not in your priority list...
There is never busy, it is just priority...
Well I put you on the 3rd in my heart...
1st will be my career... That's my real dream.. saving people from suffer.
2nd is my family... Without them.. there is no me.
3rd is YOU... Why? not 2nd? Because when you will be my family you will be 2nd. :)

Well, I am still not your boyfriend...
I couldn't ask too much from you...
After SPM...
Lets hope everything will go according to plan?
(Actually in my life nothing goes according to plan, as long as it is planned, it is not going to happen)
Anyway, I was not beat by this "wired curse"... Just keep trying...

Anyway these days I really try to concentrate on myself more...
Building up myself... Not for anybody, but just myself...
I try not to bug you, spam you message when you don't reply...
Maybe I think it is better for just me, myself to suffer...
Loving someone should make them happy..But sometimes their happiness is not you...
And sadly you can't do anything but just to accept that truth..

I understand that feeling...

What are you thinking now actually?
Even thou we message everyday... but seems like we are even getting further from each other...
You started to be cold, busy, somehow not really interested on me.. At least that what I feel from what you gave me...
You said you like me... And you said I am the most sweetest guy, most understandable guy, most nicest guy in your world..
Somehow it makes me think that it take more that just that to get what I really want in this world...

I couldn't literally tell you these things...
I don't want our condition to become more worse...
(Hopefully someday you will be able to see this blog)
But sometimes you really couldn't help it...
I will try to control my emotions...
I will try to cast it away, just like what I did to my anger...
I will try...

So much to write about...yet I can't really finish...
Something is just always on my head and it didn't come out the time I wanted...
Well, don't feel like writing all my feelings in one shot thou...
I will collapse.... or maybe just disappear...
But then that day, will you cry for me?

-Lonewolverine.