Change since my birthday.

I remember that since my birthday we had a quarrel. Then I decided not to try to change you anymore. Instead I let u change me. Since u can't accept the way. I guess u r ready to go into serious and insecure relationships. For me I don't really mind. What I always did before I always for our better good. But u don't seems to foresee it. I don't blame you. Experience is one of the factor. 

Today experiencing something that u mention to me. U said I actually reply ur message shortly after you wrote so long. U felt that I m not interested in you. 

Tbh I m not a superficial person. I m not going to explain or debate with u since I said I won't be changing u anymore. If u like I change myself for what u want. I just hope u won't regret. Because if u think it decision is Better than mine I have to give in. I don't know. You seems so confident. If I doubt you u won't be happy as well. 

Let's come back to the topic where today u try to change me. Once again j m not a superficial person. My interest are not shown on words. I though u should had know me. It's fine. If u wish for it I will just do for u. On the other hand I just can't understand why instead of me u don't try to talk something interesting. Why is it we always blame others not ourselves. 

Today I hide this feeling from you, since jay day after my birthday I promise myself  that I won't plan for our future anymore. It hurts a lot when ur partner don't understand how important it is. So let it be. Even to prevent from breaking up will not be done. I don't know, if u r the person who always needs experience to teach urself then so be it. 

And today I actually concluded myself that in future if I die Coz of somethings I can be assure that it won't be my careless. It will be because of love. Why. Because I change for my partner. I m no longer wise anymore. Or doing some bring stupid that most mistake people did. I don't know why we should live like this. My life is in my hands are no longer true anymore. Don't tell me that I m just trying to make things up, it's not. It's not that easy. Trust me to become someone perspective who is less age than you is not really gonna make life any "good serious" I don't know how I should write this but yea that are those word from my mind. 

Anyway. Good luck to my future self. Hope that I just won't die in vain or die it regrets.